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Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Running with appreciation

I want to address something extremely important! If you don't know already, we and with the help of ALL of you raised enough money for our daughters mobility. A all terrain jogging stroller that we will use forever (unless our Emily walks) We appreciate every one so much. Our daughter LOVES her stroller! We can go anywhere now with ease. Nightly I've been jogging with her, approx 4 km. Then it dawned on me, I want to do a half marathon with my daughter to celebrate! SO that's what we are going to train for and I wanted to share because without all of you, this wouldn't be a reality! 💪👏 We are together strong!


After having my tarot card reading and after writing about it in my previous post I've been non stop thinking. Today I decided to sign up for some VIU (Vancouver Island University) courses including writing and counseling. I'm starting to feel pumped. I'm not just that house wife OR that upside down naked woman! I am a trail blazer! Anyhow, I have been conquering my little hill (Notch Hill) 3-4 times a week and I have been jogging our loop (4 km) every night. Just lately (with the great weather) I have been jogging with our youngest daughter (seen above in her new stroller) Long story longer I had this brilliant idea. I have always wanted to run a marathon. In fact, I paid and was registered for the Good Life Marathon one year before my own hip deceived me. I had to cancel then. Now I feel bound and determined to run a half marathon. Same one I signed up before BUT this time with my daughter in front of me. Timing doesn't matter to me, finishing does! Finishing with her. If you haven't been following my blog, and are just tuning in now....our little Emily has been recovering from dual hip and groin surgeries. It was a difficult and challenging time for our family. During this time we raised $5000.00 to purchase this all terrain jogging stroller with Emily's Angels. Emily's Angels continues located on face book. This reality, this dream wouldn't have come true without all of your support! So now we are running with appreciation. I will share our journey, our challenges and we will conquer our first half marathon together this October! October 11th, the Good Life Marathon in Victoria BC!
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door and open it. I'm back on track and so is my writing! Stay tuned!  

Monday, May 18, 2015

I'm not just that upside down naked woman

A good friend of mine invited me to attend a Tarot Card reading. Both of us shared our experiences together. It was a great reading. The cards for the both of us aligned perfectly onto how our lives are right now. I will just write about my personal experience. As you know (or can tell) I have been struggling with writing. I think it's because lately I've been consumed with some negative enlightenment's in our life that is beyond my control. And if we know anything about control, we don't have any. So this Tarot Card reading couldn't have come at a better time. My first card that was laid was an upside down naked woman. Normally this card would represent a prideful woman. However in my case, I was upside down. Completely how I have been feeling these days. My existence is a homemaker. I breathe raising my family. I home school. In my past I was a supervisor at our local restaurant, weekly I looked after an elderly man. I was a first aider at our local mountain. I was always avidly working and supporting outside our home. First off I'm not complaining. I love my life, and my family. However ( within my Tarot Card reading) I as an individual have indeed lost myself. Can I be that proud naked woman standing upright confident within herself solely being a home maker? When people ask me what I do...I always say quietly, “I'm a stay at home mom, I home school” I personally need a different answer. My Tarot Card reading was bang on. I need adventure. I need change. I need something significant for me. To uplift who I am as a woman. Not just that house wife raising children while becoming a shadow in our world. That's not just me. I'm not just that house wife shadow. Funny....I do write about this all the time. That's probably why I write about it, because I know what I need, I know that action is key to any ones success. I can write about this over and over again but I will still remain that upside down naked woman. In the middle of my Tarot Card reading was acknowledgment. Acknowledging that I do indeed need to make some changes for myself with the support of this king. A king card presented itself. That was my husband. I told the Tarot reader that my husband is my supporter, and that we believe in having individual dreams. So with knowing it, but not really addressing it with actions – I still know what I need to do. Turning that knowing into realities. See I can still conquer this house wife life but to truly become that confident proud standing straight up naked woman, I need to enhance myself. I need to release all negatives, all judgments and to believe and openly be proud of who I am. At the end of the reading (within my future) there I was. I was making it happen. Concluding, I was pursuing a possible career in counseling for the Ministry, and or both, I was signing up for that journalism course I've written previously about. I was making steps to go over and lend my services to the Country of Nepal. (A place I have been saving, dreaming and learning about for over a decade) I don't want to be that upside down broken woman. I don't want to be that hypocrite writer that advocates taking action when I can't take action for myself. I preach to my children all the time to do what makes you happy, take those steps.....I personally haven't because I'm that confined house wife and mother. I write my dreams while teaching my children to take theirs. It's time. It's my time. It's my Kings time. We can do everything and anything if we set our minds to it. So thank you to my good friend. She treated me to a reading that could possibly finally change my life, and teach what I preach to our children, to live, experience and take actions to make yourself happy. To be proud of yourself. I can't be my childrens' teacher if I don't start with myself. I'm not just that upside down naked woman......


Saturday, May 16, 2015

Individuality

I've had a few emails asking if I plan on blogging anytime soon. If you've been following, I do love to write (even with all the errors) as I'm my own uneducated editor. lol We have been busy. Nothing new. On another note I've been struggling personally. Parenting isn't easy at the best of times. Having a larger complex family adds that intensity. Sometimes parents (especially me) don't get it right. We make mistakes. We are human beings. It's interesting on how while parenting, "us parents" get lost in the mix to get it right. I often think......only if children knew we are not the slaves, they are not entitled....that yes us parents are people too. "With interests" I have been taking my hour a day. I also believe that we as parents should support individuality. We are all different. Physically. Mentally. Relationships. Beliefs. What is incredible about life is we're all unique. So that's what I teach our children. To be yourself. You don't have to get married and have babies. You don't have to love the same sex. You don't have to be that lawyer, nor do you have to work the typical 9-5 job. I've written this many times over and still to this day I struggle with judgement. Every day there is looks, snickers, and comments about our family. Perhaps it's our size. Sometimes, yes sometimes it's about our daughter in a wheelchair that happily yells "Hello" to everyone. Yes sometimes I get glared at because I'm full of tattoos. After all, what kind of mother would look like that? Funny.....only if people knew. Only if people would walk in and have my life for only one week, and do what I do on a daily basis - then decide who I am. You know.....we are in 2015 where freedom of expression and equal rights are suppose to be valued and respected. It is not. AND that is why, if anything......I'm here. I feel like I'm an extremist in everything I do. It's all about avocation with me. I would have the rainbow stripes all over my yard for example. I walk what I believe. AND that's to be yourself. You have to be happy. Lately I learned something "again" I have four adult children living their own lives. Some are doing awesome while some are struggling. I tried to guide and support realizing my parenting as their mother needs to step back. I had my time with them. I placed what fundamental skills I could, now it's their turn to find themselves like I have. It's not necessarily going to be how I taught them. I learned that that's ok too. It's their life. I don't live my mothers, they don't need to be living my beliefs or expectations either.  As long as their happy and healthy - be free. And honestly, even if they weren't happy and healthy, they are now on their own learning path. It's true when people say life is a roller coaster because it never really slows down, the directions are forever turning. Right or wrong we are all here for the ride. Too experience...... then "poof".... we become a distant memory. Sometimes I think about what's right....what's wrong....then I keep being redirected to tomorrow - we might not be here - so if harm isn't caused onto others, why judge? Why stress? It's so hard not to judge....I know because I've caught myself. Living unconditionally is actually very hard to do. So I understand. For me trying to advocate individuality.....I still feel like this little bird sitting in the palm of judgmental hands inching my wings outward slowly feeling comfortable with me. I can just imagine all the teenagers and young adults struggling just breaking the surface. To conclude, I know to let your birds go....and to continue to enhance your own individuality being a parent or not. It's the only freedom really we can have, and that comes deep within ourselves. Don't get lost trying to get anything right. Don't think getting things right is about pleasing others. Be yourself - that is what's right. While being yourself, practice loving others being themselves too, that way we all can fly together embracing each others individuality. It's hard enough just getting to that point to soar.